More Hell, Fewer Dahlias: The Musings of a Radical Feminist.

Posts Tagged ‘women

is all I can say.

Head over to Jezebel for more info:

I don’t actually think I buy anything from their advertisers, but I’m double checking and I urge you all to do the same, and if so, change products.

One unintended consequence of the article I’ve felt? Feeling really sorry for the author.

I didn’t expect to! I didn’t intend to!

But someone who holds that much contempt for other people, to the point of being physically sick over their appearance and likening them to heroin addicts (which everyone knows means Bad Person, yeesh), must have a lot of self hatred.

It hurts to see a woman hate her body so much.

And it hurts to know that thousands of women feel the same way.


It felt strange writing “Yay Texas!” after the textbook controversy (if they’re editing out historical events, I doubt they’re adding in women or any people of color, you know?) but Austin did something pretty cool last week: making all “Pregnancy Crisis Centers” advertise their services. So now you know what you’re being offered when you walk into the clinic! Here’s a hint: you’re not being offered access to an abortion or birth control, and people have a right to know that.

I really like how they make this a consumer issue, because it totally is! Go look up “Pregnancy” in your yellowpages (am I the only person with a phonebook nowadays? I’m sorry for killing all the trees but sometimes the internet DOES NOT CUT IT, I’m sorry!), along with abortion/abortion providers and birth control. You’ll be hardpressed to decipher the services offered, though from some intrepid googling/anon. phone calls, the ones with the big ads usually don’t want you to have choices, ifyouknowhwhatimean. When someone is going through something as difficult as an unplanned or issue filled pregnancy, the last thing they need is to be walking into a place that doesn’t offer the services they need.

Go Texas!

Love from,


(Administrative note: Things will be slow-ish for the next month, or at least irregular. Moving, not failing organic chemistry and starting my thesis are all taking up most of my mind space, but never fear!)

I’m gonna rehash an oldie but a goodie:


Regardless of what she’s wearing, doing, saying, drinking, or where she is doing any of these things or with whom she is doing them.


Keshia Cantor was handed a pamphlet explaining to her that her immodest dress may cause her to raped and was responsible for men sinning. Here’s where the news article fails: it goes on to describe Cantor’s dress, asserting she’s a “good girl” who was all covered up while working at her mother’s fast food restaurant. Uhm, hold on.

“Bad girls” don’t deserve to get raped either, and they aren’t responsible for men “sinning.”

So good job,  Clare Golfordo of the Herald Courier press, for covering these sexist, fingerpointing, inaccurate pamphlets, even though you didn’t quittte follow through.

Bad job, society, for needing to know exactly what the girl handed this pamphlet was wearing. I mean, after all,we have to know… what if she deserved it?

Bristol Harold Courier: “Blame the victim: Religious leaflet claims ‘ungodly’ dressed women provoke rape”

Terry O’Neill: “Health Care Reform Victory Comes with Tragic Setback for Women’s Rights”

Yet again, women’s health is a tool to be negotiated with in order to appease those who wish to legalize discriminiation against women. Good job!

Support your local abortion fund TODAY! The Stupak amendment didn’t get passed, but the spirit of the amendment did. Women aren’t to have equal access to health care or access to reproductive choices

Yay for getting something called “Health Care Reform” passed. Boo for it being a sad, watered down excuse at what should have been accomplished. I didn’t elect these representatives to allow myself to be treated as the second class citizen many members of the right wing view me as.

Shoutout to Feministing for the article link.

Quansa Thompson is suing the club when she worked as an exotic dancer for lack of payment, challenging the idea that dancers work as “contractors.” Due to the restrictions and rules of the club, Quansa says she was an employee and should be compensated as such. Though the reporting in the Washington Post is dreadful, we can all follow and support this case as it works its way through the system. Yay for marginalized women in marginalized jobs standing up for their rights!

Learn more about the sex industry and sex workers today. Start learning about pro and anti sex feminism and seeing where your opinions and ideas fit. Sex and sexuality is a battleground in feminism. Start getting your knowledge ready!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Enjoy celebrating the life of an extraordinarily successful evangelizer and eating salty meat, or whatever else you do.

There’s a cute comic over at XKCD called “Porn for Women.” Check it out!  It is a nice commentary on how women aren’t supposed to be sexual beings, in stick figure form!

Love, radfemles

P.S. Need an abortion? Hope you’re not in the military. That post, coming soon.

When someone calls you out for a privileged comment, it can be hard to realize that you were in the wrong. After all, everyone you know uses that word/you didn’t know it meant that/you didn’t mean it THAT way/you weren’t doing it on purpose/other people are too sensitive, right?


This has come up lately with the word “gypped” in my experience. Gypped is a racist term against Roma. When we use the term, we further the prejudice against the Roma and the stereotype that institutionalized the word and made it part of our vocabulary. So let’s imagine a dialogue right now:

Mary Sue: “That vendor gypped me!”

Becky Jean: “Mary Sue, gypped is sort of a racist term. Do you mean he cheated you?”

Mary Sue: “I’m not a racist! How dare you! Everyone uses that term, it’s not about black people or anything!!! Why are you attacking me, you’re not perfect!!!”

Becky Jean: “I know you don’t consider yourself a racist, but the language you use can betray your actual beliefs, so you need to be careful. I’m not attacking you, I’m informing you so that you can look into the term and eliminate racism from your vocabulary, so your words match up with the lifestyle you want to lead. The term refers to a stereotype of the Roma people, often referred to as Gypsies, and they suffer a lot of discrimination and hate, so we need to not further that with our words.I’m sorry if you felt attacked, that was not my intention.”

Now ideally, this is where Mary Sue calms down a little and says…

“Oh, I’m sorry I got so upset. Racist is such a scary term, and I immediately jump to my own defense. I was scared of my beliefs and words not matching up. Thanks for telling me. I know you don’t mean that I hate others, just that we live in a racist world and need to be conscious of our speech. Are there any other terms like that I should be aware of? We can help educate each other.”


“It isn’t racist!! I don’t even know any gypsies, and everyone uses the word!! You’re oversensitive, and you can’t save the world!!! I didn’t MEAN it, so it shouldn’t matter!!”

And here is where you want to cry, or start poking them very hard in the eye, right?

Well, violence is never the answer, and though crying might help you feel a bit better, it should probably be saved for when you can hug a puppydog and rant about the injustices of the world to your stuffed animals and significant other.  And since right now, Becky Jean wants to come away from this conversations positively affecting Mary Sue, we’ll skip the crying.

Ganieda, one of our lovely commenters, linked me to this excellent post entitled “How to Discuss Race and Racism without Being a Jerk.” My favorite part is the part she quoted to me, during yet another of my epic rants about NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO PEOPLE AND GETTING FRUSTRATED

“Intentions aren’t the only thing that matters.

(Last one, and it’s short.) Suppose I step on someone’s foot. They say, “hey, ouch, you stepped on my foot.”

My proper response is, “Gosh, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful.” Depending on the situation, I might add something like, “I was looking for my kid’s sneaker that she always kicks off,” or “I’ve got something in my contact,” etc.

My proper response is not, “Well, I didn’t mean to step on your foot, so why are you angry?!” “

This is a great example to point out to Mary Sue. You can explain yourself, you can ask for reassurance that the person calling you out isn’t considering you a Bad Person, but you have to show that you realize that your intention is not the be all and end all of the term and that it has a greater affect than “just being a word.”

Which is why Mary Sue’s explanation of not knowing the term’s severity and feeling attacked is a lot more valid and provides a lot more discussion than “well I didn’t know!!! you’re oversensitive!!!”

Another great example is a few posts earlier, in my Yay Spain! post. A commenter called me out on the image of Spain I’d put out. I apologized, agreed with her that my words did not get across my intentions, and explained what I exactly meant. Voila! Did it feel good being called out? No, I felt bad about unintentionally perpetuating a harmful stereotype by not using my words in a clear manner. But I drank some lemonade, felt sad for a minute, then sucked it up and responded. And I learned from it.

Now, if you’re wondering why I have a very long post on racism, the answer is intersectionality, and because the following tips can be used with sexists as well! Along with ableists and homophobes and sizeists and…..

More about intersectionality this time. Off to eat pizza bagels!