More Hell, Fewer Dahlias: The Musings of a Radical Feminist.

Archive for the ‘Abuse’ Category


Danny Dyer (British actor) wrote in an advice column in a men’s magazine,

You’ve got nothing to worry about, son. I’d suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her.

An ap0logy has been issued. The apology is half assed.

Due to an extremely regrettable production error, an inappropriate and indefensible response to a letter has appeared in this week’s issue. Zoo editor, Tom Etherington, apologises unreservedly for any offence the response may have caused and has launched an internal enquiry to ensure lessons are learnt.

Let me rewrite that for them.

Due to a culture of mysogyny and lack of understanding of the sexist culture we live in, an inappropriate and indefensible response to a letter has appeared in this week’s issue. Zoo editor, Tom Etherington, apologises unreservedly for blatantly furthering the culture of violence against women and making light of the plight of the millions of women who are physically, emotionally and otherwised abused each day. We have launched an internal enquiry to ensure lessons are learnt.

Advertisements

Iceland, which banned prostitution last year, has now banned all strip clubs and “any business that makes money off of nudity.”

I mentioned a few posts back about the anti/pro sex feminism chasm, and this is a big example of the anti-sex side. A lot of immediate reactions I’ve heard to this new legislation (after “people go topless in Iceland? Isn’t it cold?! GAHHH) tend to support it, under the guise of protecting women. But who are we protecting women from, and who is doing the protecting?

Here are a few things to think about before supporting this type of legislation in your community and abstractly.

Making things illegal doesn’t mean they stop existing. They go underground, where the likelihood for crime and abuse skyrockets. Banning stripping doesn’t mean banning strippers, it means banning strippers in public places. Back alleys and underground clubs aren’t the sort of public that respond to that regulation too well.

-Limiting options isn’t feminist. Regulating women’s sexual expression and what they can do with it isn’t what was fought for.

-What happens next? Are these sources of money going to be replaced by other jobs that these women have skills for? “Helping” women who haven’t asked for your help by “liberating” them and then leaving them high and dry only opens them up to further abuse.

Assuming demographics makes an Ass out of U and Me. All too often, anti sex feminists support an image of a downtrodden woman, suffering from abuse and drug habits, as the main workers in the sex industry.  These people totally exist, but those who choose to work in the sex industry through no coercion are impacted negatively by these sort of bans.

So what’s a feminist to do? I’m going to go with: support a moderate option! (Being moderate is very radical these days, people. Isn’t it crazy?)

Regulate the sex industry! Make it safe for women to request their rights and have a safe, judgement free legal system to go to! Offer support programs for workers lacking options! Promote a fair living wage for all workers, and judgement free, affordable healthcare for those in the industry. Stop the circumstances that result in people being forced into the sex industry, i.e: have programs that target violence, poverty, substance abuse and promote education and job training.

Make the industry safe and consensual by eliminating undesirable factors that make women feel forced to enter the sex industry and allowing those who wish to work in it a safe, healthy, respectful environment.

All too often we find ourselves separate from these issues: “I’d never want to work there!! Who would!!!” (that’s my inital reaction, srsly, I understand.) but eliminating options and looking down on other women for their choices isn’t cool, either.

Over and out,

Radfemles


Terry O’Neill: “Health Care Reform Victory Comes with Tragic Setback for Women’s Rights”

Yet again, women’s health is a tool to be negotiated with in order to appease those who wish to legalize discriminiation against women. Good job!

Support your local abortion fund TODAY! The Stupak amendment didn’t get passed, but the spirit of the amendment did. Women aren’t to have equal access to health care or access to reproductive choices

Yay for getting something called “Health Care Reform” passed. Boo for it being a sad, watered down excuse at what should have been accomplished. I didn’t elect these representatives to allow myself to be treated as the second class citizen many members of the right wing view me as.


Utah did not pass the bill to criminalize miscarriages! Some common sense and the public backlash definitely helped, I think. Good job talking about it and getting the word out, people! This is a nice sized triumph. : )


That’s what Hillary Clinton called Nujood Ali, a twelve year old Yemeni girl who recently published “I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced.”

Married to a 30 year old man at age nine by her father, Nujood was beaten and raped by her “husband” for two months before visiting her family home to see her sister. Her father’s second wife advised her to seek a divorce, and Nujood made her way to the courthouse. After sitting there for half a day, a kindly judge recognized her. Her father and “husband” were taken into custody, and the original judge housed Nujood for the trial. After refusing a judge’s original suggestion of taking a break for up to five years, then returning to the “husband,” Nujood was granted a divorce. Her memoir is now being published in nearly twenty languages, and she is enrolled in elementary school full-time.

There’s another great woman in this story: Shada Nasser, Nujood’s lawyer. The first female lawyer in Yemen, Shada started her career by offering legal services to incarcerated women.

Both women have been honored with multiple awards, though they were barred from attending a ceremony in Vienna, Austria, by the Yemeni government. Follow up stories indicate that Nujood may not be treated well by her family, and suffers from the stigma of divorce and reaching out to Western media.

More about the situation for Yemeni women: there is no minimum marriage age, though husbands are encouraged to wait until the wife is “ready.” Over 65% of women are illiterate, and kidnapping and rape are constant threats. Once married, women must obtain spousal permission for actions that involve leaving their house.

Educate someone on women’s situations in other countries today, please! We have a long way to go in so many countries, including my own.


Just got RAINN’s latest email, and had to share.

Thank you Gregg Milligan for sharing your story on Oprah, encouraging 5,000 people over average to contact the RAINN helpline and centers looking for help.

Physically and sexually abused by his mother, Milligan shared his childhood and what it took to become a successful member of the military, as well as a succesful father.

Thank you for sharing your story, Gregg!

(I’m on a military kick lately, which is a bit odd, considering I’m a card carrying conscientious objector, but I think that the military tends to be undercovered in liberal media, due to its decidedly nonliberal tendencies, so I’m gonna go with it!)